Twofer

Well, fancy that. All I have to do is keep waking up at 8ish a.m. to take my temp and recording the results, and the Frenemy does all the dirty work on the space-time continuum. I dutifully entered this morning's data a few minutes ago, and just like that (snap), my ovulation day moved one earlier and I was *two* more dpo than I foolishly thought I was yesterday, before

FF set me straight. It's giving me a test date of the 31st, which is to say next Tuesday, my second day at my new job. Unlike many ladies-in-waiting, I do not automatically test every month, but I guess that if it becomes CD31 and I have not begun to bleed, I will find me a stick to pee on. I waited until CD34 last time, knowing that the progesterone suppositories could have lengthened my cycle, as my doc had told me, 0-3 days, and also because N and I were traveling separately from CD30-34 or so. Anyway...it's only CD26 today, and so this is all premature. Trying to be hopeful and protect my heart all at once; it's a tricky tightrope to walk.

Yesterday's visit with Dr. L. I am pleased to report that he is infinitely chattier in person than he is over e-mail (as any speaking human would really have to be). As we suspected, 6dpo is way too early to test for pregnancy...but what if he had known that it was truly *7*dpo?...He offered us several options of how to proceed, as well as his estimate of our chances of success with each. They look something like this:

1. Continue doing what we're doing (screwing + Prometrium): 3%

2. Clomid + screwing + Prometrium: 5%

3. Clomid + IUI: 13%

4. Injectables + screwing: 18%

5. Injectables + IUI: 20%

N was trying to get a handle on the basis for these numbers: do they apply to couples who have been trying the amount of time that we have? Women who, like me, have a short luteal phase without outside intervention, but a normally shaped uterus and plenty of eggs? Women who got pregnant once already? Who scour the internet for cute/funny t-shirts, but don't shave their legs as often as they might? It just seems as though there are so many variables; how could everything be so cut-and-dried?

I don't know what we were expecting--that Dr. L would take out his pompoms and cheer us on, tell us we're doing great and not to change a thing? I know intellectually the things that we struggling conceivers might potentially need to do if we want to be parents. And yet...N and I have not really opened ourselves to the possibility that that may be us (I know, grammarkids, that it's technically "that may be we," but I don't know if there's a parking spot available outside this nail salon for the Dorkmobile to come and pick me up). Maybe this shouldn't be surprising. I did believe, after all, when I was very young, that my family was too good for chicken pox. The day the Lower School principal came into my art class to tell me my older brother had gone home with it was a big-time disillusioning wakeup call. I was six. So medical denial and I are acquainted. N and I both aren't quite ready for IUI or injectables yet, but on the other hand, what are we waiting for? I felt like maybe Dr. L thought we weren't serious about wanting a baby when we balked at immediately pressing forward with more invasive treatment options, but N didn't see it that way at all. Guess I'm a little sensitive. Along those same lines, I left with the sense that the likelihood of there currently being a pre-baby inside me had decreased as a direct result of this consult, and I'm not sure that's scientifically possible.

So...yeah. Turns out that Dr. L's office can do genetic testing in-house, and we were about to get that party started yesterday, until we found out that, without insurance, the "Ashkenazi panel" (go, Jews!) would cost $1000-2000. So it may not come as a surprise that we're going to wait on all that until after our insurance kicks in. N is also going to go in for a(n) SA in the near future.

And now, for a change...we wait.

Oh, and now that I'm out of the aforementioned nail salon (and also just went and got acupuncture and scads of pills and herbs to brew), I give you...my toes!

I was excited at finally being able to get a light, froufrou color, which I haven't in over a year, because I dropped half a pingpong table on my left foot in May of 2009 (about two weeks

before competing in a triathlon) and had ugly toenail bruises to cover up. There was actually a color on offer called "It's a Girl!" and I was tempted, but figured I'll go for that one after I'm actually confirmably pregso. Which will be...

...when, exactly?